Weekend Wrap Up. ♥

WEEKEND WRAP UP.

THURSDAY

Went to school, til 8:40, did some home work, and went to bed early.

FRIDAY

I was off of work all day, I went down to tell Justin that I wanted a divorce,

Where he told me that he wanted to work things out, and move home, that

He was making a mistake, and didn’t want to lose me. And then he invited me

To the casino for his mom’s birthday on Saturday. Had a BBQ at Seth’s house.

Saturday

Went to the casino, won $250 dollars, hung out with J, went swimming,

Kinda got treated like crap from Justin, just kept getting treated like crap by Justin.

Left crying. But under the impression we were good.

Sunday

Thought Justin and I were good, asked him to hang out when he got back, he told me I was annoying, and that he didn’t want to see me or talk to me until he got home on Wednesday from deer camp. I took the dogs swimming, and ended up out at Seth’s for a bbq.

Monday

I slept late, dinked around the house, did some school work, and went to school.

I can’t wait to give you all an update of things in the works in my life, but as far as my blog goes, I am going to keep in pretty vague, as I am not entirely sure who reads this, and who is friends with Justin. I am sure that my ex-friend still reads this & she and J are besties, sooo I will keep my life details out of here, until Justin and I are over.

divorce && everything that comes with it..

HELLLLLLLOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL BLOGING FRIENDS.

I am going to try very hard to write out blogs on Microsoft word, and then post them to my blog whenever I get a chance. I know I defiantly owe you all a major update. I am not even sure when the last time I blogged was. But there has been so many things happening.

I had my first week of school, which didn’t suck as bad as I thought it would.

I worked really hard and got a lot of my classes pretty far ahead.

So on the days that I want to slack, I am totally able to.

I just had a four day weekend, which wasn’t to bad.

Justin and I talked a little bit, hung out for the day, and by the end of the day

I was crying, and cried most of the two hour drive home.

I realized that he and I are no longer, Justin & Shelby, but just Justin. And. Shelby.

We have become two separate people. We somehow went from being married and happy to just being. And honestly when I look at him, I no longer recognize him as a man that I stood in front of my friends and family and told them that I would love him for the rest of my life. I am more upset with the fact that he and I didn’t even make it one year married. Given it has been the roughest year that Justin and I have ever had. We dealt with infidelity, lying, lack of income, job loss, loss of family members, jail, fighting, money problems, bills, so many things that I believed we could overcome, yet didn’t.

I decided after this weekend and spending the day pretty well being ignored by Justin, that I didn’t deserve to be treated like crap, and that I would be moving on. I printed off divorce papers, and I have them most of the way filled out. I just need to get all of our bills together, and take copies of them, and write out all the debt that needs to be paid off. It is going to be so much work, just because there are so many bills. I know that it is for the better. I just think it is going to be so strange to no longer be his wife.

Or to just not be a wife in general.

If I weren’t in school, I would run. Far away, as far and hard as possible. I do not do well with being in the same area as him. I don’t like knowing where he is, or not knowing where he is. I don’t like being able to call him, or not being able to call him. I want to just move on. I want to erase him from my life, remove the pictures from the walls, take the ring off, put all the memories in a box, and high up into a closet where they can collect dust, and become a “once upon a time..I was married.” But I live in a small town, people know I am married. I don’t want to go to court. I don’t want to deal with all the issues that are going to come with a

DIVORCE.

I'll be seeing you..

Due to policies at my place of employment;

I will not be blogging until I get

my computer and internet

set up at home.

I will miss you all.

If you want to get ahold of me.

Please feel free to text me, or email me.

I will try to update as much as possible.

Justin and I are still not back together.

We havn't talked that much.

School is going amazingly.

I am loving it.

I have a four day weekend starting tomorrow

&&

I am so freaking excited. I plan on tanning,

and lounging, and spending time with my dogs.

and homework. :)

With Love,

Shelby

and this is what I dream of...

pOsT iT nOtE tUeSdAy ♥

{via}

i hate loving you.

it's over.

he told me today.

it's over.

he's getting the papers.

we're getting a divorce.

no more being mrs. holland. :(
i mean so little.
i get a break up phone call.
and i called him. he didn't even call me.

{WEEKEND WRAP-UP}

{FRIDAY}

Once I got off work,

V, my sisters and I went down

to BMD, it was really stupid.

As much as I love seeing people

that I don't really like, it was still

nice to get out of the house.

A bunch of us went back to my

house and had a wild and crazy

party.

{SATURDAY}

I hung out at my parents,

went swimming with the girls

& Meg and her fam.

Then I headed home around eight

and crashed out on my couch with the dogs.

{SUNDAY}

Worked til 3:30, went home

and laid on my couch til seven something.

Went outside, picked up

AN ENTIRE BAG

of beer cans and bottles.

Honestly people--why do you throw

your cans into my yard? Especially

when there is a garbage can for cans

right outside the door. Grr.

I went to bed early.

I am pretty lame, especially when J

is not here. I miss having things to do.

I miss having someone to lay

on the couch and veg with. I hate

that he and I are talking, but that

we are not hanging out.

I just want to be us again. :(