been awhile.

As much as I would love to get completely lost in my blog and write the millions of tiny emotions that I am feeling. I just can't. I cannot seem to accept defeat, or accept the challenge of accepting defeat. I love my life. Just something seems off.

I don't know how to explain off. I feel as though I didn't listen to my heart in a situation where I should of. I feel as though I needed something more and I didn't speak up.

Then something happens..something that brings you back to reality or shoots you over the moon. I am not sure what is real or what is fake, what could have been or what could never be. I know it is making any sence. I am just not ready to go there. Not with myself, and surely not with the world.

I try to remember this IS the life that I chose, this is the life I wanted. I knew things and I had accepted them for what they were, and then.

Then.. it all fell apart. Or maybe it came together. I really don't know.