Monday, June 29, 2009

the story of us..

   In August 2005, I had been out of high school a little over a year. I had just turned 19 and I was coming into my own. I was becoming more and more confident and I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship with a man that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Little did I know...
    My cousin Katie and had been going to parties quite freguently with a group of guys in Cottage Grove. It was a Tuesday night, middle of August, with not a whole lot to do in a town of less than 10,000 people. Summer in Cottage Grove consist of one month; July. Every weekend in July there was a historical event held. Being as July had come and gone..we were left with little to do on a Tuesday night. That particular night we found ourselfs buying slurpies at the Dari-Mart when the guys pulled into the parking lot after seeing my car.
      After a whole ten minutes of discussion we decided to go driving and build a fire somewhere. As we were all standing around the cars, that's when I saw him; tall, blond, tan, crooked little smile..I was hooked. Yet..I did not have any idea who he was or how he would impact my life. But I knew that things in my life were going to be very different.
     We drove up to the gravel pit, up Sharps Creek, where we built a fire and the boys stood around telling stories and laughing at one another. Katie and I were the only girls and so the guys that were new to the group were trying to catch our eye. One who under closer examination was extremely cocky. I one I had been interested in..thought he ruled the world. I being the girl that I was, crossed him off my mental list. I wasn't going to put a lot of effort into someone that was a player.
     Later that night I realised that no matter how many other people we talked to, the guy and I kept coming back to eachother. At one point he tried to put the moves on me and put his arm around me. After I told Katie.. "Kepp this kid away from me." Which she did for a couple minutes. Night turned into day and we all headed down the mountain, the guy and I leaving eachother with a smile and an exchange of names.
    Days became weeks and weeks became months and finally in the beginning of November, the guy and I started hanging out at the same areas. We were spending every weekend hanging out with the same group of people. He would stay the night at the place where I had moved into. We flirted every once in a while. He liked hunting and fishing and told me adventure storied. He was spontaneous and caring. He slowly grew on me and when I moved backinto my parents he helped me move. I still hung out at the place I had been living and I would call to find out if he was there before coming over.      
      The very last weekend in November he and I were at a party up Big River and he leaned in to kiss me, I pushed him back and laughed. The next night I told a friend that he had tried to kiss me and the girl in the back seat, that I didn't really knows says "Justin Holland has a girlfriend." after his girlfriend foundout about me..things got a bit more interesting. We went though a few time of he and I fighting because he could not remove his ex completely from his life. Finally, December 10th, 2005 he asked me to be his girlfriend.
         In January, my parents needed someone to live in their rental house, so my friend Cammy and I moved in there. My mom said that we needed a guy to live with us, since it was so far from town.Justin moved in the very next day.
        Now he and I have been together 3.5 years. And yes we have struggled..but daily our lives make more and more sence and I do not think that I would be the person that I am today if I had not ever met him that Tuesday night. August..oh how I love that month. He and I will be married two days shy of our 3 year 8 month mark. :]

I cannot wait to be Shelby Holland. <3

things that are..

dutch bros
dinner dates
kendal & kaitlyn & emeli.
coffee dates
hair bobbers
inside jokes
the beach
random trips to the beach
my jake's mom.
going on the beach
riding horses
bumpin to music
playin w/ ellie..
makin new friends..
chillin at the lake..
weiner dogs
four wheelers the coast.
lifted trucks
sappy love songs
extremely opinionated
swoopy bangs
flip flops year round
afraid to jump off big rocks
addicted to Cold Play, Switchfoot, and Howie Day
permanent markers
dutch bros.
getting my nails done
snow trips
thinking i am better than one person.
being gavin and christina aunt.
random trips to the snow.
Those looks i get from Justin.
Singing at the top of my lungs.
Being loud and crazy.
My birthday. July 8th
Making people laugh.
Memories in the Burban.
Kaitlyn's twenty minute stories.
Going to the coast.
Riding four-wheelers.
Blonde hair.
Taco Bell.
Short dresses.
High heels.
Straight hair.
Crazy nights.
The snow.!!
Christmas lights.
Talks with my MOM.
Saturday nights.
Dressing up.
Oregon Ducks.
being me.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

there isn't a day that goes by..

I am so unsure of the path that my life is going down. I love Justin so much, and I know that soon he and I will be husband and wife. But there is so much uncertainity, and it is so overwhelming right now. A week ago, the only thing that was on my mind, was my wedding day. Walking out those double doors of my parents house; seeing my family sitting on hay bales, my grandparents sitting there, waiting for me. My sisters dressed in their dresses, the groomsmen all dressed up, and Justin. Justin oh Justin.. walking down the aisle.. to meet him. Hold his hands, and become his wife.. But all of that changes..
Life is choices and Justin and I have made choices that have now put us into a situation that is less than desirable. We are not able to see eachother for almost three weeks, and when we are allowed to see eachother, we are not going to be sure of what the outcome is going to be.

I do not know how my life with be three weeks from now.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

and i thought I loved you then.. <3

Well well well.. It's been a while. :] hehe. I have had absolutely no time to just sit around at the house. And definatly no time to write a blog. But today; is a lazy day. Justin went to go help a friend cut some firewood and they are going to deliver it to Eugene when they are done. Sooo.. I have some free time to get at least a few things checked off my list of tasks.

First let's start off with a little update; I got the job at Cottage Grove Hospital. I am currently going through my training at Riverbend. Which if you have not been there; go there. It is truely amazing. Everything is sooo nice. And the lobby area is gorgeous. I worked on Friday and it was about 7.5 hours of an orientation at the UD [University District; old PeaceHealth location; I am going to have to learn all of their abbrieviations that they have..] It was such an amazing orientation. Working for this company..they really want to instill a since of pride in who you are, and what you do. It is more about the healing through Jesus Christ and the overall experience at the hospital; than the actual medicine part. They want people to feel like they are welcomed, and comfortable at all times. I can tell that I am going to really love my job.
Wedding update; We purchased our wedding invitations. Now I need to print them out. I found who I want my make my dress; but I just need to find a pattern in my size. I need to also buy some spanx to see if that makes me a smaller size. :] hehe. My mom has been helping me out with wedding stuff, which I apprieciate so much. It gets so frustrating because I know what I want for our wedding. I have an idea in my head..and it seems that EVERYONE around me has an idea also. Which is great; write it down--and use it in your wedding. My mom wants me to just purchase my wedding dress.. but the way I feel on it, it that I have changed so many other things in the wedding to be cheaper..and I am not going to budge. I love this dress. Last summer I tried on close to 40 dresses and there were dresses that I liked.. None that I loved. I looove the dress I have picked out. If I start working more, instead of having my dress made I will just purchase it from online. :]

June 4th, 2009..I had officially been out of high school for five years. And as I did on my 20th birthday [with the realisation that I was no longer a teenager]..had a minor melt down. I realised I had been out of school five years and I didn't feel that I had accomplished anything in my life. Then..while crying Justin walks over..with my senior yearbook..flips to the very back cover and reads to me.

Goals for Life; 2004 by; Shelby Kronberger

5 years;
1. Move out of my parents house and be living on my own
2. Find and marry the man of my dreams.
3. Get a degree
4. Be working in a hospital
5. Purchase a new car.
It goes on the list 10, 20 year plans..but once I read through those 5 sentances..I started to realise that..I had accomplised all of those things.
1. I live on my own. We pay our power bill and phone bills, we buy groceries and toilet paper. We have a real-life house. :)
2. Almost 4 years ago; I met the man of my dreams, and in August, I will be married to him.
3. Not quite a degree; But a certificate of completion in the Medical Receptionist Course
4. My date of hire; June 4th 2009. :)
5. Well..It's not new; But it is new to us.

I feel so blessed with my life. Even though there are days where life just doesn't seem fair, and it doesn't seem like one thing is going right. I know there are other people out there that have more struggle; more wants; more needs than Justin or I have. I am going to try to be a better person and truely live the mission statement and core values of my job. They are things that if every person just spent ten minutes working on daily the world would be just that much more bareable.

They way you treat one person can have an affect on 10 people after you leave that one person.

Well.. I am going to go work on wedding invitations. I am hand addressing all of my response card envelopes; 100 times of writing; Ms. Shelby Kronberger, street address, Cottage Grove Or, 97424. Over and Over again. :]