fashionably late. <3

Mhm. This smile..this perma-smile..that I have plastered on my face..24 hours a day, seven days a week..that is for you. The one person that listens to me talk endlessly about wedding invitations, who is invited, big or small, large wedding party vs. no wedding party.. all of these things, that you would rather not be listening to.. And yet; You do. You listen. You give me feedback. You help me decide; cake flavors, colors, invitation wordings, and you still kiss me goodnight after it all.

Wedding planning; it is starting to stress me out. Even though I know there is enough money to do everything that I want to do, I still feel like there isn't going to be. I have found our amazing invitations, from invitationsbydawn.com and i copied them and am now trying to make them on shutterfly.com a website which I am completely in love with. But I totally need to be doing all of these things on a faster computer.

My bridesmaids; Karlea and Crystal. I was going to have my sisters, but they are just being such hellians. That I don't think that I can trust them to be on their best behavior. They do not agree with my wedding, so why would I want them standing up there, for all the world to see. My two bridesmaids; Have been wonderful. Not that there is anything for them to do right now. But soon, very soon there will be.

I feel overwelmed..but for no reason. I am right on schedule. I have more than enough time to get everything accomplished that I want to. Soo hmm. just need to breathe i guess. :]

going to watch a movie with my ellis. :]

mhm. <3

Hmm, I feel the urge to write. I am not sure why. I have so many things on my mind. Yet, at the same time; nothing at all. I really have no wants right now. I have events that are coming up, that I am excited for. But there is nothing really major that I NEED to happen. I have my family, I have Justin, I have a job. Which by the way is taking foooorever to get started. They are still in the process of checking my references. I did not think that it would take this long to be hired on. I had to give them 2 more references to call. So hopefully it all works out, and I actually get the job. It would suck to have been told I got the job and then for it to not happen all because of a reference.

the best part; slow dancing in the kitchen. <3

justin; he is taller than i am. shy around new people. out-going with friends. provider. strong. handsome. he takes me breathe away. he gives me butterflies. spontaneous trips to places. sunday morning coffee. long walks at the lake. tender kisses. quiet talks. just as baby crazy as i am. trustworthy. honest. hardworking. partner in crime. fiance. and the best part; slow dancing in the kitchen.

today i bring you a wedding update.
i have asked 5 girls to be my bridesmaids.
karlea; best friend since kindergarten. maid of honor. love her.
crystal; justin's older sister. so funny. and beautiful
emeli; second oldest girl in my family. amazing sister.
kaitlyn; gorgeous blond hair. third sister.
kendal; the baby. if only i looked like her. baby of the family.

i have spent the last couple days scouring the internet looking for anything and everything wedding. i have picked out my invitation and bridesmaid dresses. :] they are all simple but elegant, and beyond amazing.

i have chose three different styles of dress and i am letting the girls choose the one that they want to wear. that way there is no-one saying they hate what i picked out. hehe.
i will try to upload them later. it seems that my computer is having issues with me at the moment. :]

well i am going to end this for now. more later. byye.

good bless.

blood is thicker than water; but i don't really like blood.

Disclaimer:

I am probablly going to talk about you.

Your not going to like reading

the truth about yourself online.

Get over it.

Freedom of speech.

If you do not like what you read.

Do not read it.

So your browsing the super-highways of the internet; and you come across a website, where people just like you are writng their own personal thoughts. You take some time out of your day to stop and read said persons thoughts. And :gasp: there it is! Something about you. Something that you recognize..as truth. And it stings. Maybe before you decide to condemn that person into non-existence..you could re-evaluate you life. Should you first not look and see if you hand are clean before you point the finger.

If you would have read the post, you would have read that it was not about you inparticular, yet it was about "your" role model. If you did not think that every waking moment of every God given day was about you. Maybe your life would not be filled with so much drama.

I write this blog for one reason, and one reason only. Because I can. I enjoy writing. I enjoy being able to write and not be judged by someone. If you do care for things I write, remove me from your address bar and stop looking. The things I write, are not to invoke a family uproar, as I said in earlier post. But they are there for people to read and to take a step back and look onto their lifes.

Maybe; just maybe you will find what you are looking for.

I do not live the exact life that I want to. I do not walk all day beside the Lord like I would like to. I live in sin with my fiance, and I do things that are not bible friendly. But I do not say things to cause drama or to hurt feelings. Life is choices, and I choose to walk away. I have come to realise that my life will never be whole. I will never have everything that I want. I am able to have an amazing life, standing by Justin's side. Both of working, and supporting our hope, dreams, and desires. But there will be people not standing beside us. And I am okay with that.

family is family..i now understand why God created friends. :]

doing cartwheels in my kitchen excited.

Monday's usually aren't my favorite. Actually, on my list of things that I like.. Monday's aren't even on the list. And to top it off, I was waiting for a phone call last week, and I had missed the call on Friday afternnon, and by the time I had checked my messages. It was too late, therfore making wait until MONDAY to find out if I had good news or bad news. So this morning, after a very sleepless night. I woke up around 7:45, jumped in the shower, to get my voice to sound like I hadn't just woke up. And then waited until 8. I called. No answer. Sat there in bed..ended up falling asleep, yah, go me! At about 10, I jumped awake, and thought I should probablly give it another shot. She answered!
I then got the news that I had been waiting for! Thee best news of my day, week, month, year! I am one of the newest employees at the local hospital. I have been trying to get on there, for almost a year! I am beyond excited.
My life has just been going so amazingly.I found someone to make my wedding dress. But she is also in school, so if she is not able to, then I will be asking someone else. The wedding is less than 9 weeks away, and I am so excited. I am going to try to post a picture of my wedding dress.

[faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.]
Hebrews 11:1