Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Am I voiceless?

Lately I have been feeling as though I have no voice. As though my lips are moving; yet no sound is coming out. I need to knw that my voice is heard; by someone other than myself. When it comes out of my mouth that at least one person hears the sound of my voice.
I feel alone; yet overwhelmed by the amount of people around me. I feel like so many people around me are going and doing this great things. Preaching the word of God; Going to school to become great leaders, teachers, doctors, anything that might change the world; Yet I am still searching. Searching for my path, searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. The hand to reach out and help me find the path that I am supposed to be taking at this very moment.
I dont like the feeling of not being heard. Of asking for help, or asking someone to stop what they are doing and going completly unheard. Or getting a look that says; "Did you say something?". I feel unable to carry on a conversation, because who wold really care what I have to say.
I am not the prettiest, the smartest, the skinniest, or the nicest..but I do have a mine and my thoughts, my feelings deserve to be heard. I listen, I respond to your ideads. And I know that my ideas ever so smallever so non-life changing deserve to have you listen. You should listen. You should respond. YOU should care.
Yet..you dont. I cannot always be in the wrong..in everyones eyes. I cannot always be the one to give up and walk away. I cannot be not listened to. It is hard for me to continue to walk away after being asked to leave people's lives and then be told that it is my fault. That I chose to walk away. I was only doing as you asked. I have given up; I don't want the same things you do. I don't desire to be apart of your life anymore. And just remember; you asked me to walk away. Not the other way around.

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