seattle is whispering sweet nothings in my ear. <3

I think that; I am going to move to seattle. I feel like if I don't do something with my life.. I am going to get married. Have a family. And live in cg my entire life. cg. marriage. kids. will all be here in 5 years; six months; as long as it takes to find my way back to cg/eugene.

I love Justin. And I love my family. But for once in my life, I need to go out by my own. I have lived in Cottage Grove my entire life, and I want something more. Lately all I have been thinking about is marriage, and babies; but.. I am the only one thinking about it. Those are my wants..not Justin's.

But really am I just settling? Settling for a life of living in a rented house, driving a used car, rocking babies and living pay check to pay check. Or, do I venture out on my own. As I should have when I graduated. I feel like I have lived the last 3 years..in pause..slow motion. Something.

I am ready for the next chapter. I am ready to be in seattle.Living in the city. Taking hundreds of pictures. Walking through the markets. Pictures. I want to take beautiful pictures. I want a cute apartment with pictures of the city all over my walls. Thinking about it gives me so much hope for the future. I need to be in Seattle.

I would love to be a mother. But seattle is calling me. Whispering sweet nothings in my ear. It's that piece of chocolate that I am not supposed to eat, that second white annilhaltor that I want so bad; but am too scared to get cause of those extra calories.

I am going to start looking for a job; in Seattle.