Monday, September 27, 2010

i am not sure what to do.. [9.13.2010]

I am not sure what to do.

I know that I want to be married.
I know what Justin did was horrible.

I know that if my best friend were
Going through something similar
I would tell her to do what makes
Her happy, but in the back of my mind
Be screaming; “tell him to kick rocks”
And still I talk to him.

Still I long to be next to him.
He is my husband.

I never knew that you could feel so many
Different emotions about a person.
I love him, I hate him, I wish him nothing

But the best, I hope he fails at every last thing

That he touches, I dream of babies with him,
I hope that he’s never able to reproduce with

Anyone but me, half the time I am so confused,

I don’t know whether to sit or stand, walk or jog.

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