lovely monday; watched the sunrise with my grammy.

Most of my life I have been anti-kids. I love them..but I loooove them a whole lot more when they are not mine. :] I had not ever wanted any, and even told my fiance when we first met that I did not want children and that if he wanted any..I was not the girl for him. :]
Well almost four years later, and 5 days away from my wedding; I am head over heals; for children?





For awhile that was all I could think about. I browsed longer than normal in the children section..had dreams that I was pregnant. It all started about two years ago. And it goes in spurts. Two years ago, I wanted a baby more than I even thought possible. I tried convincing Justin that having a baby would be something so amazing. And that he really wanted to do it. He didn't budge. When Justin and I first had the talk about love.marriage.life.spending the rest of our lifes together..his main concern was providing. He wanted to be able to give his children the life that he didn't have. He grew up in a family that didn't have oppurtunities to travel, or go on cool vacation. He grew up with the basics and not much over that. And he wanted to be able to travel around with me.





He has not been to most of the places that I have. I have traveled so much, and I have been so blessed with parents that were able to do all of those things for us. I am going to see if I can't find a map and put dots on all the places I have been. aha!

I have been to the state with PINK X dots; Some of them I have just used [to fly into and out of.] But a lot of them I have been to multiple times and spent quite a bit of time in.

Sooo back to this baby talk; sorry I got kinnnnda side-tracked. :]

A little over two-years ago..while begging Justin for a baby..he did what any man would do; turned my attention onto something I might want more than a baby- a puppy. [enter:Ellie] :]
I got Ellis for my 21st birthday. She was the cuuuuutest little thing ever. She was so bouncy and happy. Which she still is, she's just a little heavier now. She's still my princess, and when people ask me if I had one wish what would it be, I say; I wish Ellis was human. :]

Last year; I started on my baby ways again. This time- begging, pleading, demanding. Still my level headed husband to be..told me No. He told me that if I had so much love to give that I needed to do something with my time; Volunteer at the hospital or something. I was looking in the newspaper and that's when I found it. A nanny position- in cottage grove. I was so excited. I interviewed for the job, and got it. It was a position taking care of a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a set of 4 month old twins. I was over joyed; even though it did not one thing to curve my need for a baby. They were thee best children and the cuuuutest kids ever. Rocking the babies to sleep, or playing outside with the older boys was so relaxing. It wasn't all fun and games, and there were times when I wanted to pull my hair out. But there was never a time when I didn't want to go to work. :]

Since I have started planning the wedding, the need/want for a baby has slowly subsided. I am beginning to see through Justin's eyes. Traveling, Saving for a house, Buying a new car, so many things that are our goals. And I know that a baby can wait. Justin said that he would like to be married at least a year before we even think about when to start trying to concieve and I am totally and fully on board with that idea. I still have quite some time left on my IUD. A little over a year; April 2010, is when I will need to either get a new one or have mine removed to start TTC.

Life is good. Love is great. I could not ask for more. Here is a yummmmy little recipe. It looks soo good. I am going to make it pre-honeymoon weekend. I might also make them pre-wedding so that while everyone is milling around they can have something to snack on. :]

Here's the recipe (from Barefoot Contessa's Tri-Berry Muffin)

3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon kosher salt
1½ tablespoons ground cinnamon
1¼ cups milk
2 extra-large eggs, lightly beaten
½ pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted
1 cup fresh blueberries
½ cup fresh raspberries (I used 1 cup of rasberries instead of 1/2 cup to make up for the loss of strawberries)
½ cup diced fresh strawberries (I took out the strawberries...a bit too tart for me)
1½ cups sugar

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.
Line muffin tins with paper liners.

Sift the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon together in a large bowl.
Stir with your hand to be sure the ingredients are combined.
In another bowl, combine the milk, eggs, and melted butter. Make a well in the middle of the dry mixture, pour the wet mixture into the well, and stir until just combined. There will be some lumps but don’t overmix the batter!
Add the blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, and sugar and stir gently to combine. Using a 2¼-inch ice cream scoop, spoon the batter into the muffin cups to fill the liners.

Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, until a cake tester comes out clean and the tops are nicely browned.

Bon Appetit! Let me know how you liked it!