I don't have a blog just yet, but your dear friend
Shelby is allowing me to write for her today.
Currently, or should I say recently, both are correct, I found/finding out that I have a lot in common with Shelby, she is going through the EXACT same things as me. I have a form of HPV. I had a colposcomy, I have mild dysplagia. I also have precancerous cells on my cervic. Mild dysplasia means the skin cells of the cervix are reproducing slightly more quickly than normal. The cells are slightly more plump than they should be and have larger, darker nuclei. This is not cancer, but does have some pre-malignant potential in some women.
Mild dysplasia is not a permanent feature once it occurs. It can come and go, being present on a woman's cervix (and Pap smear) at one time and not another. This happens because the HPV virus that is a pre-requisite for these changes can lie dormant within the cervical skin cells. Normally held in check by the woman's immune system, the HPV can, at times of immune system distraction, reactivate the cellular machinery that leads to more rapid growth.
So now, I wait. Six months..to find out if the cells have gotten larger, or if they are the same, and if they have grown than the doctor and I will talk about the different options that we have. I have never wanted six months to pass so slowly, or so quickly all at the same time.
On top of the not knowing, my mother and I had lunch yesterday. She told me that she might have breast cancer. She's had a mammogram, and a needle biopsy, she had blood work done, and now she has appointments for the cancer center here in town. She is so calm about the whole thing, and I am worried. But not as worried as I should be. I know that I should be upset by it.
But my real feelings are, will my mom and I be here? Will I ever have kids? If I do, will she be here to see them? When I am talking to her about my situation, should I be talking to her about hers? Should we not talk about it at all? I am not sure, what I should be doing. We now are playing a waiting game. My mom and I. I do not have a relationship with my sisters, except for one of them. I don't want to lean on them for support, and my husband is pretty amazing, so he will be there for me no matter what.
If you have any advice, please feel free to send it through Shelby, and she can give it to me, and I will reply through her, as I really don't want to be made public..yet. :)
Hope you all have an awesome week. And that you enjoyed my post.